- Did you hear about the first restaurant to open on the moon?
It had great food, but no atmosphere. - Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything! - What do dentists call their x-rays?
Tooth pics! - What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing, it just waved. - Do you want to hear a construction joke?
Sorry, I’m still working on it. - Did you hear about the fire at the circus?
It was in tents! - Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt quacks! - What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
One is really heavy and the other’s a little lighter. - Why should you never trust stairs?
They’re always up to something. - When does a joke become a ‘dad’ joke?
When it becomes apparent. - Why did the bullet end up losing his job?
He got fired. - I entered ten puns in a contest to see which would win.
No pun in ten did. - How do you measure a snake?
In inches—they don’t have feet. - What does a house wear?
Address! - Why are toilets always so good at poker?
They always get a flush - Why is Peter Pan always flying?
Because he Neverlands. (I love this joke because it never grows old.) - You heard the rumor going around about butter?
Never mind, I shouldn’t spread it. - Two windmills are standing on a wind farm. One asks, ‘What’s your favorite kind of music?’
The other replies, ‘I’m a big metal fan.’ - What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk. - How does NASA organize a party?
They planet.
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