Washington’s Mother

Mother's Day

Sunday, May 12, 2024

As we look forward to celebrating  Mother’s Day next Sunday, I thought I would share some background about the mother of our country’s first President, George Washington.

In the history books, Mary Ball Washington has been cast as a villain and a saint—or written out entirely. In reality, she was an independent woman at a time when few others were.

“She has been the object of both meaningless praise and more often antagonism from writers who dreamed of a different mother for their hero George,” historian Martha Saxton writes in “The Widow Washington”, a biography of our first president’s deeply misunderstood mother.

Mary's Childhood

When Mary was 12, her mother died, and she moved in with her half-sister. Her religious education deepened at this time. She read devotional books, and was moved by many of their teachings. In time, Mary’s religious conviction gave way to a profound and long-lasting sense of inner strength—a contrast to the traits of submissiveness once associated with pious women.

Mary was 22 when she married Augustine Washington, a 36-year-old widower. They moved to a spacious plantation and had George in 1732. Over the next ten years they would have five more children (one, Mildred, died shortly after childbirth).

George's Childhood

In 1743, George was 11 years old when his father died.  Mary was left to raise their five children and run Ferry Farm. While her property holdings (including roughly 20 enslaved workers) made her an eligible option for re-marriage, she chose not to do so. Rather than risk marrying someone unsavory and putting her children at risk, she decided to shoulder the burden of raising them on her own—another testament to her independent streak.

Despite her modest means, she did the best she could to provide her children with an improvised education. Although she could barely afford it, she loaned George money for dancing lessons, which she knew were essential for entrance into elite Virginia society. (He ended up paying her back.) Mary loved tea, and she trained all her children in the genteel art of tea serving and drinking, something George would carry with him his whole life.

Historians Weigh In

As the years went on and her children grew up or died, money became increasingly tight for Mary.  Money soon became a contentious issue between her and her oldest son. For the rest of her life, she would occasionally write to him asking for small sums of money.

At one point, in a letter George complained to his brother “It is too much while I am suffering in every other way (and hardly able to keep my own estate from sale) to be saddled with all the expenses of hers“.

Historians point to this as evidence of Mary’s avarice or ineptitude, while ignoring that George was famously penny-pinching, even though he was worth an estimated $525 million in today’s dollars.

“The problem with some of the material about her is that it can make both people look bad,” Saxton says. “For example, if you start to use evidence about George not wanting to give his mother any money, you run the risk of making him look awful. So you have to spin a story in which she’s the villain.”

Mother's Day

Once a year, countries around the world celebrate Mother’s Day – a day dedicated to all mothers, so that we can show our appreciation. Mothers and mother-figures are indispensable. They’re likely the first people we ever know when we enter the world, and they love and care for us as we grow up.

While Mary was not without short-comings (as we all are), she raised a son who became an exceptional leader for our Country.  So this year, in addition to giving thanks for my own mother, I want to gives thanks to Mary for raising her son, George.